Desk Pieces

I was assigned this week to come up with desk pieces, which are essentially running gags that the host of a late-night show could do. Examples would be Letterman's top ten lists, Leno's newspaper misprints, etc. This was weird, because I have to conceptualize avenues on which to transmit the funny, not just make the funny. So here are some ideas.

New Religions- From the desk the host produces a poster that has a picture of new religion's church, mosque, synagogue, etc., produces the name of the head of the religion, and describes a major tenet of the religion, whether it's something they worship, or a particular break from a major religion that they have.
Example: A new radical sect of Islam that agrees that the pig is a filthy animal, and that is why they must instead eat as much pork as possible so that the pig will eventually not exist. Followers submit to stop work five times a day to sit on a picnic blanket and eat spare ribs, some extremist groups commit terrorist attacks against Piggly-Wiggly stores. The leader of the religion is secretly the CEO of Chili's


Books Recently Banned/New Bestsellers in (Different repressive country each week)- Host pulls up a pile of books that can either be a pile of books that is all banned books, or a mixture of banned books and best-selling books in a particularly repressive country (China, Cuba, All of the Middle East, etc). Titles can be both real and made up
Example:
Afghanistan- Bestseller: The 72 People You Meet in Heaven
Banned: Riding in Cars with Boys

Cuba- Bestseller: Pitching 101
Banned: Sailing 101


Hottest Ticket in Town- Host reveals ticket to most popular event in cities around the world that are pertinent to current news or events. Ticket Price and event details listed on ticket.

Juarez, Mexico: Ticket to soccer game that offers partial refund if a member of the home team is executed by cartel prior to kickoff. Also a stub can be redeemed for one free Tecate if lumps from mass unmarked graves under field noticeably alters play. Cost is 35,000 pesos

Elkhart, Indiana: Host simply holds ticket number indicating place in bread line. Cost is dignity.

Tehran, Iran: Ticket to opposition protests against corrupt election results. First 5,000 attendees are in a lot of trouble. Cost is civil rights.

Phoenix, Arizona: Ticket to Phoenix Mercury vs. Atlanta Dream WNBA game. First five in attendance receive game jersey, team socks, sneakers and 2-3 plays designed specifically for them over the course of the game. Cost is $10.

Los Angeles, California: Ticket to see Michael Jackson's grave actually be dug. Shovels are first come, first serve. Dirt is on sale for $750 a granule while supplies last. Cost is $150,000.

Beijing, China: Ticket to speed dating night where there are rumored to be 3 women for every ten men. Cost is one male child.


I still need to come up with three more. I feel like concentrating and coming up with something decent will be better than pumping out three for the sake of keeping it in one blog post.