Essay on gay gay marriage

Freshman year, I wrote a "researched argument," which is like a research paper, except arguing for something, which I'm pretty sure isn't a thing so much as a "pointed research paper," but I chose to do it on gay marriage since I could interview that cuntbucket "Professor Emeritus" Charles Rice, whom I would describe as a "molest-y grandfather type." This paper began with an extended metaphor about a guy living in a society where everyone drove blue cars, and they wouldn't let him buy a green car, because why the hell should he want a green car?

My professor loved it, but he was a giant pustule filled with dickhead, so I choose to go with my gut instinct and say that that metaphor was long, stupid, and completely beside the point. From the fucking beginning, anyone who saw the title, which probably had something to do with gay marriage, or maybe "Fuck Catholicism," I can't remember, and then started reading about blue cars, would know exactly where this was going, and would roll their eyes in exasperation that I'm choosing to score a cheap, stupid point instead of saying anything that had any substance.

I was thinking of writing a similar essay, mainly because I'm reading a book of essays right now and I'm in the essaying mood, and therefore thought back to this hideous abortion of an introduction. It suddenly occurred to me that I could begin with a similarly belabored metaphor: maybe we're talking about a group of penguins, here...and maybe all the penguins sing, but one penguin, maybe - just throwing this out there - maybe this one penguin wants to dance, instead, but none of the other penguins want him to be able to! The last line would be: "The penguins then found out that one of the other penguins was a faggot, so they killed him."

It occurs to me that not only is this a funny surprise ending, but actually kind of substantive! Well, at least more substanstive than the fucking green car metaphor, because it declares that homophobia can transcend all other issues, and is a deeper hatred - do whatever the fuck you want, but screw the wrong person, and you're fucking dead.

Thoughts?

(N.B. - (what I'm reading has nota bene's all the fuck over the place, which has gotten me into the habit of doing so) I tried it both ways, one with "faggot," the other with "gay." I feel that "faggot" has more punch, but am worried that it would be viewed as offensive. More thoughts?)